Review: A Place of Yes by Bethenny Frankel

Synopsis:  From Goodreads "Bethenny Frankel's no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is personality won over countless fans, and made her a nationally bestselling author and the star of her own hit Bravo show Bethenny Getting Married? Now Bethenny opens up and shares the obstacles she overcame and the great success she has enjoyed while discovering how to approach life from “A Place of Yes.” Bethenny’s path was not always clear as she overcame a difficult childhood, failed relationships, entrepreneurial efforts that never quite got off the ground, and lifelong money struggles. To deal with these challenges, Bethenny developed ten rules for pursuing her goals with authenticity and drive." 

Review:  Having been a fan of Bethenny Frankel's for awhile now, I really wanted to check out her "ten rules" for tackling life.  For anyone who has watched her reality shows, you know that Bethenny is pretty much an open book about her past and present.  She has shared her career, relationships, and family with her audience.  Now, she digs in to share what she has come to realize and records it in her semi-autobiographical book, A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want. 

Many of the rules Bethenny shares in her book deal with personal honesty and hard work.  You do have to somehow be brave enough to say yes to things in your life that are scary or difficult; however, I wonder if some "self help" suggestions really just fit the person who realized them.  I really appreciated learning about what drove her to become the person that she is, but I don't know that they always fit every person.  There was one rule about not doing work that is unsatisfying, and attempting things that scare you and help you achieve your best self.  I'd love to say that I could drop my job and find that "blissful" fit, but I think there is a fine line between doing what you do best, by which you feel fulfilled, and doing what you do best but not necessary liking work for all its stresses.  My parents always reminded me that work is called work for a reason.  I don't know how realistic it is to toss over ones "real life" for the hopes of a better one.  I will admit that it takes great courage when you do realize you need to find a better path.

All right, so let me cut to the chase.  I thought Bethenny's book gave some good information about how she achieved greater success and joy in her life.  While not all the "rules" she listed might fit every person--in my opinion--I appreciated the journey she took us on and was rather interested in what she learned.

*FTC Disclosure:  This review was based on a library copy of the book.

Response: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Yes, I finally finished reading Eat, Pray, Love.  Please note that this is a response and not a review.  I just couldn't keep myself out of this one!  Although a Reader-Response critique is not the best approach to any book, one can't help but draw on what one feels and thinks.  In the case of Eat, Pray, Love, I could NOT separate my own life from Gilbert's, which is why this reading took me so very long.  Did I like it?  No--and yes.  It's all very complicated.

Synopsis:  Elizabeth Gilbert found herself in a complicated, unfulfilled marriage, questioning why she settled for relationships that didn't fully meet her needs.  After continuing to cry out to God, the universe, or to whatever higher power that might be listening, Gilbert let go of her crazy life and marriage to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia for one year.  In each location, Gilbert spent four months.  Italy served as the basis for "Eat" as she devoured gorgeously prepared Italian foods like pizza without thought of her waistline.  India was her locale for "Pray" as she studied at an ashram, learning to quiet her mind and be at peace.  Finally, Indonesia became her place of "Love" in that she accepted and loved herself, but also found the unexpected love of another man near the conclusion of her journey.

Review:  Unsettled would be a good word to use with my reading of Eat, Pray, Love.  In the beginning I found myself so annoyed by Gilbert's constant whining about her marriage and non-stop relationships with men, that I wanted to shake her.  It quickly became apparent to me that I was NOT going be able to separate my own mid-30's, single viewpoint from the text.  Having suffered from one gut-wrenching break up that has challenged my adulthood, to smaller possible relationships that went the wayside, I just couldn't sympathize with Gilbert's view.  Basically, she seemed to feel that *gasp* she had always had a man in her life and always viewed the glass half full, only to be disappointed by their eventual failings.  Okay, so that would be frustrating, but altering to the point of stopping in your tracks to go live overseas for a year?  Who gets to ever do that in real life?  Who gets to be so self-indulgent that they can put a time out on the world to just center and align themselves to God and the universe?  Well, not me.  I have bills to pay and students to teach.  Yes, I will admit to being jealous that someone could justify themselves into such a journey. 

As mentioned, I really was jealous of the journey Gilbert went on.  I was so jealous that I could feel myself turning green around the edges!  Here's the thing.  How could I ever justify or afford such a journey of the soul?  When you've been raised to "put one foot in front of the other," to face challenges head on, it's often hard to swallow a more freewheeling view of self-discovery.  Maybe my own Western ideology about facing challenges prevented me from connecting to Gilbert and I should just own it.  Could it be that I could use some decompressing and self-centered discovery?  Why yes.  I'm sure I could.  I just know that there is no time or place for me to really take that kind of time out.  Besides, in the process of trying to acknowledge all the good in my life, a journey like this would seem to be insulting for all the people I know who face far great adversity than she or I ever could.

All right.  So she went on a journey to find herself, literally, and did just that.  Good on her.  I appreciated the self-reflection, the insights on quieting the mind, the reflections of our culture that showed me that we really do allow life to suck us along at a dizzying pace.  The message of truth in self, regardless of possessions or relationships is one that is universal and good to return to often.  I recognize that we get caught up in things that are small and lose sight of things greater than ourselves.  In the end, I suppose my resentment came from the fact that I felt looked down on for being "Western" and not having the time or means to take off to travel the world.  I'm not sure that was really her message, so I have to applaud her for laying her own pain out there for all of us to examine.  In her case, she had to take this journey to find herself.  It was the adventure of a lifetime that taught her many wonderful things about the purpose of life.  I think I'm going to have to stay put and find myself in more amenable ways.

Overall, and amazingly (considering my earlier frustration), I did end up liking the book.  Yes, I was terribly annoyed by the weakness and self-indulgence I saw coming from the pages of her story, but by the end I appreciated the lessons she had learned.

Side note on the film:  Surprisingly, I didn't have a moment's thought about Julia Robert's character going on this journey around the world.  In fact, I felt great camaraderie with the screen version of Gilbert, feeling greater sympathy for her situation than I ever had in the book.  I've decided that we've come to expect self-indulgence from a movie character, or at least a more glamorous life than many of us lead.  In that sense, I felt for the seemingly pained and lost character, and was eager to see her happy again.  Besides, it was sunny, bright Julia Roberts.  I think I might have her to thank for pulling me into the movie and maybe getting some of Gilbert's message.

*FTC Disclosure:  This review was based on a personal copy of the novel.

What was your response to the book and the film? 

Rejuvenate & Renew Wrap Up--Review of Two Books

I know, this ended a month ago, but here is the evidence why you should never procrastinate. Just when you think you're ready to complete something, another something outside of your control makes it nearly impossible to finish. Yes, the story of many people's lives! Needless to say though, that regardless of the procrastination and computer problems this last week, I thought I'd post the two books I read for the Rejuvenate & Renew Challenge, that I held this summer, in a double review.

The first, Mommywood, was Tori Spelling's follow-up autobiography to StoriTelling. I still tend to be a bit voyeuristic here, and will admit to enjoy reading about the lives of famous people. This might coincide with my unnatural love of reality TV (such as Intervention, Real Housewives of whatever location, Top Chef, etc.), but I find other's lives to be pretty fascinating. Most of the time, it seems shocking that people live the way they do. However, you get a sense from Spelling's books, that she has many fears and weaknesses that make her more similar to us "regular folk" than one would at first think. I can say that I didn't like Mommywood quite as much as the first book, mainly because you could see more of the difficulties that were building up between Tori and her young family. Because of how they started their marriage (an affair that broke up two marriages), I fear for their future. Tori, who seems sweet and relatable, is terribly paranoid, which could be a driving factor towards putting a wedge between she and her husband/family. Once again, not my favorite, but an interesting read nonetheless.

The second I actually tore through pretty quickly back in August. After another year of showing low vitamin levels, the doctor sent me for several tests to see what was wrong, fearing I might have Celiac's disease. Now, for someone who already has pancreatic and thyroid issues and lives on bread (proteins often aggravate my condition), this really devastated me. THANKFULLY, the tests came back negative. That doesn't mean that I don't have it, conclusively, but I don't have the initial markers that would indicate that I do.

Thanks to this health scare, I started checking out books that would help me understand the condition better. I knew that Elizabeth Hasselbeck, of the View, suffered from this disease and had just put out her book,The G-Free Diet: A Gluten-Free Survival Guide. I checked it out, and have to say that the simple, no-nonsense story and guidelines really helped put this disease all in perspective. Hasselbeck begins the book with her own arduous journey, which was terrifying to see how much it had affected her. Getting a diagnosis took her almost ten years, and she suffered horribly in the meantime. With a proper diagnosis, however, she really turned her life around and has many practical pieces of advice. Her own experience with the disease has led her to know and understand what things work for her, and what foods she can advise others to try to keep up their energy and vitality. Covering not only her story, but also ways of explaining the disease, ways of gaining a diagnosis, and ways of living with this radical diet were well written and very clear. Although I do not have this disease (or at least they don't believe that I do), I can still see a very practical use in eating this way from time to time, for basic health. And, should I get this disease in the future (as it often lies dormant in people), I think this book would be a very helpful resource to have on hand. I highly recommend it for its information and understanding.

Rejuvenate & Renew Challenge Update: 7/27 to 8/10

Here it is. The end of the summer is staring me down. I don't mean that to be a negative, as I really am a big fan of the second half of the year--summer to the holiday season. There is something so quaint about the changing colors of fall that drives me to a book, or the cold of a December snowfall, twinkling and twirling off of the Christmas lights in my neighborhood to put me in a snuggly book sort of mood. However, I have to say that I'd be hypocritical if I didn't express a certain amount of sadness to see another beautiful summer come and go.

As part of my summer here in Hawaii, I knew that this might be my last summer here, since my mother might be moving back to the mainland before next year. That's still not for sure, but my heart is definitely a bit heavy as I face heading home. I know I'll be back for Christmas, but what after that? Well, in knowing that, I wanted to read books this summer that would give me new knowledge, new skills, or new information I'd wanted to learn but hadn't had time to read up on. In general, I wanted to spend some time rejuvenating through learning, resting, and exercising. I've succeeded for the most part, in that I've been sleeping fairly well, and have fallen in love with walking again. Reading took a hit for me this summer, but I feel good about what I've read this summer, so I think I'm ready to head back!

For the Rejuvenate & Renew Challenge, I have read the following:

1. Suze Orman's Action Plan for 2009
2. 52 Brilliant Ideas: Sleep Deep
   

I know that those of you participating in the challenge have been leaving fun links back to books you're reading. So, if you're still working on the challenge, how are you doing?

Even if you're not participating in the challenge, what are you looking forward to as summer winds down?

Review: 52 Brilliant Ideas--Sleep Deep

Okay, it's as if I can hear people clicking past this, yawning and saying, "Sigh. Why would I want to hear about a sleep book?" To that I say, "Because it is a book all about SLEEP and how you can get the best sleep ever! Who wouldn't want that?!?"

The basics of the book are that first, people should understand what happens when we sleep, and second, what might be keeping you and I from sleeping the way we would like. Now, although I'm sleeping wonderfully here, I still have my nights, and goodness knows that when the school year begins, I would almost pay money to have a good night's sleep! Here are some of the great things I learned:

• About 10% of people are early birds (those who need a little less sleep and enjoy, and are more productive during the early hours of the morning) and 20% are true night owls (those that have higher brain function in the evenings, usually enjoy a bedtime somewhere around 2am, and find that they CAN'T get their brains to function when they first wake up). Although I think some people like to claim they are night owls, they simply are not. I am 100% a night owl. In fact, with an early morning job, I've had morning meetings where I literally have not uttered a sound, and left the meeting completely unaware of what was spoken. Nice, eh?
• Our brains are set to get a short nap some time in the middle of the day. It's just the way the brain functions, so taking a quick 20 to 30 minute nap is ideal.
• Women sleep more than men, and according to experts, "...it's because women use their brains in a more flexible way than men" (19).
• Rather than sleeping in, which can actually lead your body to be thrown off and feel groggy, go to bed and get up just 10 to 15 minutes later than usual. This will allow you to get a little more sleep without throwing your body clock off.
• In chapter six it listed the types of insomnia, what causes them, and how best to tackle them.
• If you struggle to get to sleep, make your bed and bedroom just about sleep. You should avoid things that excite your brain, such as watching TV, working on the computer, or doing paperwork and bills.
• It has great ideas for people who snore, women who are pregnant, families with small babies that keep them up crying, illnesses that affect one's sleep, grinding teeth, nightmares, wetting the bed, etc. You name it, they have a chapter about it.
• 90% of people with depression have insomnia. This chapter outlines ways to battle these types of insomnia, whether through medication, therapy, or stress/anxiety relief.
• Ideas on how to encourage dreams, or at least manipulate them.
• Pills that help & can damage sleep.
• Music, herbs, aromas, and therapies to enhance sleep.

There are so many helpful hints in this book, that you really must check it out if you are interested in gaining a better night's rest. I really appreciated that they first explained the issue or problem that caused insomnia, and then walked through the various treatments or options for solving each one. The chapters are short, and are always followed with a brief Q&A that really answered many of my individual questions.

Overall, this is a fantastic resource, and I would highly recommend it as a healthy resource in your medical library. I'm more than happy with this purchase, and will be keeping it for future use. This also qualifies as my second in the Rejuvenate and Renew Challenge.

For more information: Sleep Deep (52 Brilliant Ideas): Simple Techniques for Beating Insomnia

Rejuvenate & Renew Challenge Update: 7/13 to 7/26

Yes, this has been a bit of a tricky summer! Besides teaching two very active literature courses, my mother up and moved into a new house this week. That has pretty much kept me frantically looking for an internet connection, or using whatever time I had online in grading. I have had the chance to finish a book for this challenge! I finished 52 Brilliant Ideas: Sleep Deep. While I'm not struggling as much with insomnia as I do during the school year, I still find that good sleep is the one thing I ACHE for. This book was a perfect, handy guide that has given me some great ideas that I'll pass along in my review.

Here is my update of books read:

1. Suze Orman's Action Plan for 2009 -- A fantastic, economic guide to surviving the recession.
2. 52 Brilliant Ideas: Sleep Deep -- Great resource for how to beat insomnia and get much needed sleep. Review to come.

If you're participating, how are you doing? Have you reviewed a book for the challenge? Let me know and I'll post something to let everyone know!

If you're NOT participating, why not? There will be a giveaway at the end of the challenge, so check out the Rejuvenate & Renew Challenge, and join in with us!

Review: Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

Annoyed would be a rather minor description of how I feel as I prepare to review this little book that I picked up at the library. In fact, I had another book that I read over the weekend that I wanted to review, but was so disturbed by what I read (and couldn't even finish), that I put this review first.

Now what pushed me to pick up a book with a title like Skinny Bitch to begin with? Well, I won't claim to be easily offended, nor one who can't laugh at pop cultural references, but after diving into this little beauty, the slander is completely lost on me. I'm now asking myself, "WHY did you pick up this awful book?!?" First off, I won't lie when I say that the credentials of the two authors as: "a former agent for Ford Models, is a self-taught know-it-all," and "a former model who holds a Masters of Science degree in Holistic Nutrition," did immediately turn me off. Yes, that meant that two "models" wanted to wave their fingers in my face and call me a b-yotch. Yep...pretty much. In fact, the blurb on the front cover says:

A no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous!

Partially true. I do want to stop eating "crap," but honestly, would rather start FEELING good. I guess this wasn't the direction I should have headed. Really, I just thought it would be a more fun, less starched approach to diet and health. Boy, did I have my eyes opened! Let's start with the opening lines from chapter one:

Okay. Use your head. You need to get healthy if you want to get skinny. Healthy = skinny. unhealthy=fat...Don't act surprised! You cannot keep eating the same shit and expect to get skinny.

Nice. They continue on with references to people with words such as: "losers," "fat pig," "@#$hole," and several others that I found so offensive that I literally stopped reading, and skimmed the rest of the book.

The following chapters dive into myths, or what I would presume are their scary facts, about carbohydrates, sugars, dairy, and meat (or "flesh," as they call it). The two chapters I found most offensive were the ones on dairy and meat. I found it so ironic that just today, while I was watching Dr. Oz on Oprah (which I know is only one doctor's opinion), he was presenting studies they've done on nutrition and its affects on the human body. They showed that people who ate a diet with plenty of calcium, which he definitely spelled out as not just including milk, but also things like figs and prunes, helped bind with fat to improve weight loss/management. It's not an answer to weight loss, but serves as a sort of glue to fats to carry them out of your system. Now I will admit that the book is only touching on milk, but the picture they paint is one where you not only will gain mass amounts of weight (because that's what babies and calves do when they nurse), but will also have mass amounts of mucus and health problems coming down the pike for you! (See p. 56 to 58.) They then went on to strangely include eggs in their diatribe and had these jewels of wisdom, in the middle of their "dairy" chapter:

So if you really believe that eating "just egg whites" isn't fattening, we've got a bridge we can sell ya. Eggs are high in saturated fat and are completely disgusting when you think about what you are eating. Try that for once. Actually think about what you are eating!

You will pee in your pants when you see how much weight you lose from giving up dairy... (62)

Wait...was that a transition from dairy to eggs, back to dairy? Nice transition. Totally sold me there! I'm sorry, but that's just BAD WRITING! I've taught writing for years (so yes, let's now tear apart all the bad things I do in writing), but can honestly say that the transitions are awkward, the style is juvenile and conversational (at best), and the tone is replete with negative and degrading language throughout. Not only do they sling around swear words (even the F-Bomb...as if that will motivate me in some way), but also degrading references as shown earlier. The meat section gets even worse. Almost the entire chapter is filled with references to how meat and poultry are slaughtered. I'm not even sure that's necessary for "dietary" concerns, but in this case is used as a way of scaring or grossing you into a life as a vegan.

In skimming through the last thirty pages, I got their "schtick." They're not for all natural. No. They're for a vegan lifestyle, full of products and name brands that can be found in your nearest (expensive) organic food store (and yes, I do actually really like Whole Foods as a store). Rather than possibly focusing on the positive, restorative properties in the things we CAN eat, they chose to focus on scary facts (not even sure if they were "facts"), degrading name calling of consumers and even the medical community, and a refocus on products that are every bit as processed as those mentioned in the book. For instance, in the dairy chapter, they finish off with a high thumbs up for all things "Earth Balance," "Rice Dream," and "Soy Garden." YUM!

Sigh. I'm sorry. As someone who has suffered with pancreatic issues since my early 20s, and a thyroid removal in my late 20s, I have really tried to eat well, naturally, and consciously. Doctors have been quick to point out the health benefits of being moderate in what I eat, and smart in helping me find what works for me! They've also encouraged me to keep cooking at home, and from whole ingredients. I've switched to organic fruits and vegetables that have thin skins or peels, and hormone-free meat and eggs whenever I can afford them. That's not for everyone, but it brings me a certain peace of mind. Having said that, I also LOVE Diet Dr. Pepper, brownies, Dove Dark Chocolate, and an occasional slice of pizza. Yes, I struggle with my weight like many Americans, but this book was just not for me or any of my friends or family. In fact, I would recommend, and actually quite like Bob Greene's approach, with all of its balance and focus on natural products. I also am in the middle of reading Elie Krieger's Small Changes, Big Results, but am taking forever to read it because the advice is just so darn good, and makes sense to me! (I'll share more on this one later, but for more information Small Changes, Big Results: A 12-Week Action Plan to a Better Life)

In short, A vegan diet, as healthy as that may be for some, filled with soy products and a sassy attitude, is not the well-balanced guide I was looking for. My bad. I should have been prepared by the title alone! As much as I hate to really rip into a book or guide, I couldn't let this one slide. If it works for you, that's great, but for me...it's just too kitchy and one-sided.