Monday, July 28, 2008


I'm so steamed right now! In fact, I tried to calm down as I got cleaned up after being at the beach, but all I could do was have a conversation with myself about what made me so angry. Take a look at the following shirt I ran into on the web:

GGGGgggggRRRRrrrrr!!!! Now I realize that "Feminism," with the capital F seems to scare the crap out of people, and it has been demonized into this thing that can be equated with abortion rights, bra burning, and man hating, but P-A-LEASE! Now, while I can only really agree with one (sometimes two--yes, the bra and sometimes the man thing) of those things, it's honestly not what feminism means today! In fact, when I started at K-State, I worried a little about what I would be getting myself into with Cultural Studies. Feminism, which is more often called Gender Studies, was one of the very first things we touched on. At times I was pretty uncomfortable, because it challenged my belief systems--not my RELIGIOUS belief systems, but my cultural ones. For instance, it challenged me to consider why it's all right for women to wear men's clothing, but not the opposite. I often ask my own students to consider this question, and to really ask themselves why? I'm not saying it's right or wrong, or even such a big deal, but an interesting question. If you look at some cultures such as here in Hawaii, men often wear a lavalava to church. The Scottish wear kilts. Why is that okay? It's on an EXAMPLE of the power of culture on our identities.

In the end, there is an entire range of feminists, and one of them that surprised me was a when we read a set of articles that discussed how feminists have been fighting for the validation of stay at home moms, and how they have been belittled and made to feel less significant by other women with careers. In the end, they support a range of issues pertaining to men and women, to acknowledge what makes us unique and valuable, in whatever sphere that might be. It ALSO asks us to look at the stupid things we do to belittle one another based on gender, such as saying something as horrid as my own grandmother did when she said that Hillary Clinton shouldn't run for president because she was a stupid ______, and that women weren't capable of being president because they're not as smart as men. Yes, I had to start chanting to myself things like, "She's my grandma...she's old...she's in a nursing home...she comes for another generation...," but not before I said, "Thanks grandma! Does that mean the men I work with are automatically more talented and intelligent because they're men?!? Even you know that's not true!" I think I shocked her for a second because she must have assumed I'd agree with her. She quickly smiled though, patted my knee, and told me what a smart girl I was and that she was very proud of me. I get it, that she was only spouting what she'd been TAUGHT to think. In the end, modern feminism is about valuing ALL VOICES, regardless of gender and stereotypes based on them. Is there anything inherently evil about that??? there's my rant. No one will probably even take a second to read this. Either that, or the few of you that do look at my blog will chuckle at my Femi-Nazi side (as my dad used to call me). It used to make me really angry when dad would call me that, because it implied that I didn't want to be a woman. Today, I've come a long way and feel MORE like a woman, and one that values all the sacred and beautiful potentials that we have BECAUSE I claim to be a feminist!!! So if you're ever worried about that t-shirt holding even a modicum of intelligent truth (BIG NOT), then my blathering posts below about Richard Armitage and tore up psyche over breaking things off with the love of my life will surely put an end to any credence that shirt is trying to gain! As my final send off to that stupid shirt...this feminist sends Rosie the Riveter your way!


Now I don't know what the difference is between being tired and being fatigued, but I can honestly say that this past week has been a huge mixture of both! Mom moved into her new apartment on Wednesday, after we had gotten up early to go down and see Pearl Harbor, followed by a two or three hour jaunt around the swap meet outside the Aloha Stadium. We got home that day and got the call that Oceanic was ready to move the internet and cable. Well, if they're going to take away my livelihood with the net, and our nightly entertainment with the cable, well by all means...we better just move! It was crazy painful trying to move mass amounts of crap into mom's car, drive it around the corner, unload it, and then go back to the apartment again. Nothing was organized, and not only was mom completely overwhelmed by it all, but so was I! Poor Sari had to help us in the madness, and I won't go into the several days of nightmare that moving always ends up being, but needless to say, we're in her new place now. There are some pros and cons. It's quieter here, more space, more modern in it's construction, and seemingly fewer bugs and geckos running around. On the negative, it's HOT since we don't get any air in here, stinky in the front from mom's next door neighbor's cats (about 7 that I can count), and did I mention hot?!? We're going to have to invest in a window air conditioner, or mom will be steamed inside her own place by September. We're all feeling pretty hot and sweaty all the time, so the sooner we can get one hooked up, the better!

Any other news? Well, not really. As soon as I can find my camera cords, I'll download my newest pictures, as we've been pretty busy visiting the PCC, Waimea Falls (which is all dried up), and the Laie Days Parade yesterday morning. Honestly, I've been dragging just about every single day, to the point where I fantasize about finding a flat, soft surface to crash on for about 24 hours. I don't mean to whine about it, but honestly, I'm tired ALL the time, regardless of physical labor, stress, or amount of sleep I get. I'm doing all I can to beat it by being as healthy as possible, but it's still nearly impossible.

All right. Well, I really should head to bed here soon. Another week is starting, and I only have a little over two weeks left of my summer! :( Man, that makes me sad. I got a call week before last to ask me to take AP Literature this next year. I'm nervous about how the kids will react to finding out that I'm taking over, since I know how much they loved the other teacher (who moved). I love the curriculum, but am a little nervous is all. I'm still doing my online work like crazy, and know that it will come to an end...thankfully. :) Sari is here until Thursday, and then I follow suit early next week. I really can't believe my Hawaiian summer is coming to an end!!! At least I still have North and South to make me feel better. What a GREAT movie! I'm sorry, but period pieces rock! I didn't want to add another post for the simple fact that I'd be bumping my North and South pictures. I might just add another one in to make me feel better!

Before I close, let me just say that I'm going to do an end of summer book review. I haven't read as much as I'd like, but I have had a chance to tear through some teen reads and some chick lit that I love. I think I've gotten my mom into Sophie Kinsella's books, as she asks me if I have more of them for her to read. :) Anyway, I just wanted to mention that I haven't abandoned my original love...which is literature...and not just Richard Armitage and Colin Firth! Mahalo, and I'll talk to you soon!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

To Blog or Journal...That is the Question!

Well, it's after midnight, and I should be in bed asleep, but as is typical of me, I'm not! Insomnia seems to be my friend, regardless of how tired I feel. Okay, so watching Netflix on my laptop before bed doesn't help! :) I've absolutely flipped my lid over another BBC mini-series called North and South. All I have to say is Richard Armitage. What a HOTTIE!
All I have to say is "Rrrrrrr...," and if you're not sure what that means, it's a fiesty rolling of the tongue that I reserve for only the yummiest of leading men. What can I say? Period piece dramas about reserved men and women, who have to pretend they don't care for one another, living in angst and anxiety seems to capture the romantic in all of us. Stick a little of that pain and anguish in before allowing a couple to get together really floats our boat, but there you have it! :) Anyway, I'm sure my nightly "spot-watch" of various scenes from the movie before bed don't exactly let me naturally fall asleep as I should! If you haven't seen it, then I highly recommend it (that is if you have about four hours to spare, and like classic novels remade into awesome BBC films). Also, for those who have had to shake their heads over any of my other movie choices, then I can honestly tell you that no shaking of the head required with this one!

Well, it's been a strange week or two. I started a journal that is all online, that you can actually put pictures into and then publish whenever you choose to call it "finished." Since I hadn't kept a journal in a couple of years, I thought this might be a more valuable tool for me than the pen to paper, and therefore haven't logged on here in awhile! To be honest though, I've been a little down and couldn't quite put my finger on it. Sometimes I think I'm just an ungrateful little pill that can never be happy with anything she's given. Anyway, I've been doing a lot of the things that I love, but finding that I've been exhausted just about all the time. My trainer at 24 Hour Fitness thinks it's my body's way of going into shock over 2 hour workouts every day, and depriving it of the artificial stuff I was so used to. Maybe that's the case, and it will go away. Man, I sure hope so! On the health front, I'm really proud of the consistency I've had, and that I've stuck with it. I've vowed to make this part of my life, and hope I can continue to keep it up. :)

Well, I've had the chance to take some more pictures, and yes...even add some of myself (shuddering to self). Let me just be honest. It's a VACATION, so if you think Spanx, makeup, hairspray, or anything that covers up more than a swimsuit cover or shorts and a t-shirt will be seen here,'ll have to wait for Sunday pictures! Here's a link to the slideshow of a few, as I think showing you the entire "scenic" show might be a bore. Here it is:
I hope it works!

Let me make a quick comment on the mural though. I think this is one instance where my education gets me into trouble. You know, almost my entire masters degree was spent analyzing the rhetoric of the "colonizer" so that we could understand the harmful agendas behind a lot of what has happened to native peoples and minorities across the globe. Now, having said that, I want to also say how much I realize that the church has done for all people, and that really our only agenda comes in trying to share the gospel with others. Okay, so now that I've set that up appropriately, I have to tell you that I gasped the first time I saw that mural that I've included. Seeing native and migrant children of all ethnicities lined up around an American flag, in mid 50's "white" garb, saluting a flag made me turn white as a sheet. came from a different era, but it was just a little sad to me. I don't know. You can think I'm a big liberal freak if you want, but after showing it to Sari this week, she also freaked out a little. Our fears over "others" is so fascinating to me, and I guess I'll spend my life horrified by the well meaning things we do to one another as human beings to try to feel more comfortable about our differences. Let's face it, I'm not a native Hawaiian, so when I'm lounging about on their beaches and beautiful landscapes, they have every right to look at me with frustration and even a bit of resentment. I'm not saying it's right for people to treat one another poorly, simply because of race, gender, or religion, but I definitely understand where it's coming from when I feel it! My track record as a white person doesn't really bode well for me, so I have learned that I have to work to show who I am as an individual to rectify what my ancestors have done. I can't just "expect it," because it's the politically correct thing to do.

Okay. Off my soapbox for tonight. :) I'm sorry that I prattle on, but I haven't prattled here in awhile and thought I'd better. Oh, but one last recommendation for a great movie that will have you tapping your toes as they sing and dance:
You'll notice that it takes place in the land I'll be living in someday. Save your pennies now, because somehow or some way I'll be figuring out how to have a little place on my own Greek island some day!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Slow My Summer Down!!!

I knew I'd be feeling this way much sooner than later, and sure enough, here I am panicking. It was one thing to look at the calendar and say, "Wow, I have over five weeks left," but a totally different one to realize that I'm wrapping up four weeks left, and three to me sounds like we're done! :( Tell me to stop fixating on this!!!

Well, I still am absolutely going back to Lehi in the fall, but have to say that everyone here keeps throwing all these hints out about moving here, working at BYU-H, and even some program they have where they assist teachers in getting their PhD. Sigh...that's really not nice to tempt a single, flighty girl like myself. It's tempting, but for now, I think I'll head back to "real life." Hawaii is so great though. Not to annoy anyone, but here's my basic daily routine:

8am-ish: Get up

10 or 11 amish: Go to gym to work out for about two hours

Noon to 1 pm: Eat lunch, check email, surf the net, etc.

2 to 3 pm: Head to the beach, swim for 20-30 minutes, then crash on the sand to read and fall asleep for an hour or two.

5pm: Mom gets home, and we sometimes go down to the beach to sit and feel the cool breezes.

6 or 7 pm: Dinner

Hard life, isn't it? Is it any wonder I'm not ready to head back to Utah and all the pressures of being an adult? YUCK!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Mom can't dodge waves

This Could Be Me!!!

Yes, I made it back from Idaho. Whew! Those horrible fires in Southern California didn't hold us up, and thankfully, even with the two hour delay, I made the flight right as it was boarding. Sigh...

The flight was fine, and I even read an entire book on the jaunt over. I also left it in the pocket in front of my seat! Grrrr.... Oh well. I can report though that it was a great, uneventful flight, so all is well.

Okay, so now on to why I posted the video above. I GOT IN THE OCEAN YESTERDAY!!! I actually floated with grace and ease, but yes, I got in and went swimming. :) It's been brutally hot over the past several days, and yesterday was about the worst. Mom and I felt like we were stewing in our own sweat! Sorry, but so true. I guess the tradewinds haven't been around, which is why it's been so hot. Anyway, we decided to go to our favorite beach yesterday. Mom parked herself under a swaying palm tree with a book, and I headed into the ocean. It was so calm that I thought to myself, "Go for it you chicken!!!" Once I got over the whole idea of stepping on a manta ray that might be hiding under the sand to grab my foot and haul me down into one of those canyons in the bottom of the ocean (you know, like in Finding Nemo!!!). I know it's an irrational fear, but there it is. I hate not knowing what's under or around me, which is funny, because I never cared as a teenager who would float down miles of canals, climb out in my bare feet, and run back up to the jump in spot to float down again! So I ramble... I swam in the ocean, and it was great. Thankfully, being knocked over like the lady in the video didn't happen to me, but mom is still convinced it will happen to her!

By the way, while it scared the crud out of me, you should all go see this movie! So cute!!!